In the past several weeks, we have gone back and forth between our top two choices of donors (lovingly dubbed Lance Armstrong and Monty McSteamy) to compliment Drakey in creating the perfect offspringy creation. This involved numerous and profound discussions about nurture vs. nature, interviews with parenting coworkers and of course, tireless hours of Internet research. Because let’s face it, the Internet is truly all-knowing and who would defy that simple fact? Al Gore did good when he invented it, I tell ya. Drake and I were at odds for a few days arguing over Lance and Monty McSteamy but ultimately the decision was made over a night of 10 drunk friends at my Winos party pouring through profiles and baby pictures, swilling wine, throwing bean dip at each other and naturally providing their most educated and logical assessments of the two donors. McSteamy had the vote… unanimously. Primarily because he has great hair and 100% my personality. I also have great hair, mind you, so this decision seemed an obvious one for me right out of the gates. We chose to forgo the super hot Lance Armstrong look-a-like with the genius IQ and perfect medical history because he was too much like Drake and god love her but what the hell would I do with two of those? Sweet Jesus! So Monty McSteamy it is, with the thick golden curled locks and Amazon-like ancestors.
Another thing that warrants mentioning and tangential to this topic is the Cryobank we chose. Becuz we switched that up too. We were actually going for a Cryobank that we had believed was local to us here in Seattle but turns out had recently relocated to NYC. They focus on Scandinavian swimmers which is exactly what we’re looking for to create the perfect mix of half-breed. I know that "half-breed" is an entirely rude and inappropriate term, and for those that don’t actually know me and cannot therefor logically make this assumption, I am kidding!! I am not as much as an insensitive ass as I come across as in writing and I would NEVER refer to my child as a “half-breed” to their face. Or to anybody else that didn't GET IT, so to speak. Anyway… not only is this Crybobank way cheaper than the California Cryobank, but what really impressed us was that Drake had called to get baby pics ordered and ended up in a 20 minute conversation with a guy that works there and knows both Lance Armstrong and Monty McSteamy quite well. He was freely telling her all sorts of things about their current appearance and personality, etc. They were having a candid and open dialogue about it. It was AWESOME and certainly never an option we had before. Point to be made is that we have truly had such a drastically improved experience thus far and we're just at the very beginning stages of this. I feel confident and good! Real good!
Lastly - I am making a commitment to be more attentive to this blog now that things are finally gearing back up. I will commit to blogging once a week if not more. If I got nothin' to say relevant to the fertility subject, you may just get to learn about things like my adorable girl dog and her new imaginary friend that she's been having troubles with lately resulting in a lot of loud growling and vicious fights with invisible things. We'll just have to wait and see.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Welcome back to Hades!
Hades welcomes you! Please come again!
Let's start by noting that it is not in my nature to give things or people a second chance. Not, at least, without a formal written apology or staged speech and preferably overlooked and/or signed off on by the President of the United States or somebody of similar high rank and authority. I am not a cruel person, mind you, and actually not that stubborn either; but if you wrong me, I tend to hold a grudge; for a very long time… and in most cases, forever.
It is also not in my nature to do about-faces and suck things up while remaining quiet and complacent. No... not ever. Well... hardly ever.
There are many things about this situation that go completely against my nature, which make this difficult to explain why we are returning, once again, to the Hades Clinic, (residence of Dr. Evil), mere weeks from sending in our last and final big check for services rendered. Or in my case, not quite rendered. More like... for services "suffered".
So I’ll just relay the series of events and hope that people will agree. Or disagree… whichever you chose. But at least see the path of reason and logic I’ve chosen to follow in this case.
Per my previous blog, we had made an appointment at the other clinic which was supposed to take place today. That would have been our $350 consultation to tell us all the things we already know. And to be fair, maybe some stuff we knew at one point but have since blocked out of our memories for obvious reasons. Because of the time frame we were working within, I asked Drake to please call them back and explain our timeline and make sure that even though they wouldn’t see us until the 18th, that we would still be able to do her first insem in a couple of weeks. She did. And the answer was firmly “NO”. In fact… I think it was closer to “not a chance in hell, fool”. It was during this conversation/inquiry where we learned that the $350 consult was only 1 step in the initiation process at this clinic and to follow that would be a physical exam (makes sense but isn’t that INCLUDED in the consult?) and then an appointment with a social worker. Because I guess being lesbians is HARD or something and we need guidance counselling. ALL of these, mind you, would neccessitate separate appointments and accrue separate charges. Here's a thought: WTF??? That’s not at all how it worked at Hades. So after much deliberation, we broke down and called the one nurse that we always had a good experience with at Hades. Dr. Wild Bill’s nurse, to be precise. We explained that we were moving to option B and the "second string womb" and her response was simply and delightfully... “no problem. consider yourselves grand-fathered in. here’s a list of blood tests you can get handled by your private doc so it’s covered by insurance and just send in the results, call me when you want to LH shot and ultrasound and we’ll get it taken care of.” I’m sorry, did I just swallow my own tongue or did Hades actually just FREEZE THE FUCK OVER??? So back to Hades we go, sans consult, sans the expenses associated with consult and in plenty of time to make insem date # 1… in fact so much time that we can actually tail gate to it! Because that would be fun!!! We anticipate an ovulation day circa the first week in march but who really knows.
And because I've been so delinquent, I am going to populate a second blog post today (hopefully) on an entirely separate issue. Cuz I got a lot to say but they each deserve their own titles.
Let's start by noting that it is not in my nature to give things or people a second chance. Not, at least, without a formal written apology or staged speech and preferably overlooked and/or signed off on by the President of the United States or somebody of similar high rank and authority. I am not a cruel person, mind you, and actually not that stubborn either; but if you wrong me, I tend to hold a grudge; for a very long time… and in most cases, forever.
It is also not in my nature to do about-faces and suck things up while remaining quiet and complacent. No... not ever. Well... hardly ever.
There are many things about this situation that go completely against my nature, which make this difficult to explain why we are returning, once again, to the Hades Clinic, (residence of Dr. Evil), mere weeks from sending in our last and final big check for services rendered. Or in my case, not quite rendered. More like... for services "suffered".
So I’ll just relay the series of events and hope that people will agree. Or disagree… whichever you chose. But at least see the path of reason and logic I’ve chosen to follow in this case.
Per my previous blog, we had made an appointment at the other clinic which was supposed to take place today. That would have been our $350 consultation to tell us all the things we already know. And to be fair, maybe some stuff we knew at one point but have since blocked out of our memories for obvious reasons. Because of the time frame we were working within, I asked Drake to please call them back and explain our timeline and make sure that even though they wouldn’t see us until the 18th, that we would still be able to do her first insem in a couple of weeks. She did. And the answer was firmly “NO”. In fact… I think it was closer to “not a chance in hell, fool”. It was during this conversation/inquiry where we learned that the $350 consult was only 1 step in the initiation process at this clinic and to follow that would be a physical exam (makes sense but isn’t that INCLUDED in the consult?) and then an appointment with a social worker. Because I guess being lesbians is HARD or something and we need guidance counselling. ALL of these, mind you, would neccessitate separate appointments and accrue separate charges. Here's a thought: WTF??? That’s not at all how it worked at Hades. So after much deliberation, we broke down and called the one nurse that we always had a good experience with at Hades. Dr. Wild Bill’s nurse, to be precise. We explained that we were moving to option B and the "second string womb" and her response was simply and delightfully... “no problem. consider yourselves grand-fathered in. here’s a list of blood tests you can get handled by your private doc so it’s covered by insurance and just send in the results, call me when you want to LH shot and ultrasound and we’ll get it taken care of.” I’m sorry, did I just swallow my own tongue or did Hades actually just FREEZE THE FUCK OVER??? So back to Hades we go, sans consult, sans the expenses associated with consult and in plenty of time to make insem date # 1… in fact so much time that we can actually tail gate to it! Because that would be fun!!! We anticipate an ovulation day circa the first week in march but who really knows.
And because I've been so delinquent, I am going to populate a second blog post today (hopefully) on an entirely separate issue. Cuz I got a lot to say but they each deserve their own titles.
Monday, February 2, 2009
planning
We're making some progress on prepping for "Op Knocked Up - Second String - Take 2." We've picked out a donor, for a start. A very very LARGE, blond and blue eyed donor. His "name" is Monty. He's a bit of a GIGANTAUR, weighing in at about 200 pounds and reaching grand heights of 6'3 or such. This is entirely appropriate for a boy; however, I am a bit concerned that his two sisters are also 6'3. Yikes! Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against tall people; I'm even friends with a few (shout out to Jenkins!) and I treat them no differently than my other non-freakishly tall friends. I mean, I may make bigoted jokes behind their backs occasionally but I am nothing but fair and unbiased to their faces. :) KIDDING. My larger concern is the image looming in my head of looking up to the clouds, pointing my finger sternly and yelling up at my 11 year old to "GET TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY!" Drake and I are both a little height challenged, you see.
Anyway... we're currently researching clinics other than the Hades Clinic. We only really have one other choice and they cannot get us in for a consult until the 18th which is pushing it pretty close, but it's all we can do for now. I'm growing a tad bit excited again at the prospect of having a baby. It's been a nice and much needed break for the past few months but I'm ready to hit this again with optimism and energy and renewed hope. and I look forward to seeing the love of my life experience the magic of what may become...
Signing off,
Erin Rae
Anyway... we're currently researching clinics other than the Hades Clinic. We only really have one other choice and they cannot get us in for a consult until the 18th which is pushing it pretty close, but it's all we can do for now. I'm growing a tad bit excited again at the prospect of having a baby. It's been a nice and much needed break for the past few months but I'm ready to hit this again with optimism and energy and renewed hope. and I look forward to seeing the love of my life experience the magic of what may become...
Signing off,
Erin Rae
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