uno dos tres - arriba arriba andale!!!

Welcome to Cycle Attempt Numeral Dos; Second String Womb Operation Knock Up: v. 2.2.

According to my very precise and 100% accurate calculations, Drake coulda shoulda woulda (and most likely DID) ovulate EXACTLY PRECISELY on the day we had expected her to. The day which non-coincidentally happen to be exactly 1 day after she went in for her second ultrasound when Dr. Evil couldn't find her left ovary. You see, I did some Math. I know... (insert dramatic pause here for affect). And I calculated the average growth (in nano-fuckin'-buckets) of her follicles (based on her first ultrasound visit) and they would have been mature enough to drop right on that day. So whether she has anovulatory cycles or not, at least my Math is rightyo-damn perfect. and let me tell you ladies and gay men... THAT is a small miracle in itself. I so totally deserve children for that. Multiple petites even. Speaking of multiples, small little side bar anecdote here. I took one of those stupid silly little quizzes on facebook the other day about how many children you are meant to have. My other friends who had taken it all came out 1, or 2 or so. Something perfectly reasonable, you know? I took it and the answer was 4-7. WTF? JUST... W T F??? Just because I don't mind a little bit of clutter and I wouldn't immediately hurl myself into a vat of boiling water if a little bit of baby vomit or tinkle got on my hands. Seriously? Facebook insults me. Whatever.

Anyway... back to matters of my favorite topic: the Hades Clinic and Dr. Evil. Drake received a bill from Hades for last months services. The ultrasounds which we fully expected to be charged for but then an EXTRA BONUS CHARGE for a "consultation" on the day of the 2nd ultrasound. Yah; that was the day that she changed her appointment 3 times in an effort to avoid Dr. Evil and ended up with her anyway! Guess what? Upon further investigation of this charge, it was revealed that Dr. Evil CHARGED her for her 10 minutes of time where she informed drake (wrongly, I suspect) that her ovary had already collapsed implying that she had already ovulated and missed this cycle. If an ultrasound tech would have done the deed as was intended, of course this charge would not exist. Ultimately a small price to pay in order to say once and for all, I DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE WANT DR. EVIL ON THIS CASE EVER AGAIN AND YOU NEED TO MAKE A BIG NOTATION ABOUT THAT IN MY FILE. Or else! I guess firing her the first time and taking her off the case just wasn't enough. Regardless, I think the situation is handled now. For a small fee, of course.

Anyway, I have promised Drake that I wouldn't dwell too much on the negative experiences this time around so from here on out... unless something collossally bad happens, I will only report on nice pleasant things like oooooooo... there were beautiful butterflies fluttering around above my head while I lay basking in the charming neon glow of the bright warm lights while my feet rested comfortably in fluffy pillowy stirrups. Dr. Angelina Jolie offered me wine and roses to accompany my insemination party and upon my departure, I was presented with a bright shiney new pair of shoes as a gesture of gratitude for my patronage and time. I will have everybody at the clinic autograph them so that I can always remember this heart warming experience. Ooooo... ooooooooo!

Off topic from the pleasantries of scientifically enhanced baby making, Drake and I are making a quickish trip to D.C. next week for the brother's wedding. I look forward to the time off, to 1:1 time with Drakey and to visiting with family. We should be approaching insem time the week we get back. Stay tuned. Oh... and I'm feeling very lonely out here in blog land with no commenters any more. Breaks my fragile little heart, don't you know?