yah yah

I owe everybody an update, I know. I'm terribly, inexcusably delinquent. But I'm going to offer up an excuse anyhow. I was quite sick all of last week and all of my creative juices along with the basic ability to spell simple words correctly were zapped from my cranium completely.

I'm still not 100% but here is an attempt at a bland update.

Well... we have officially made the switch to home insemination's (ie... "the turkey baster method") doing ICI vs. IUI. We have also switched donors. I'm not naming this guy because well... Gabe and Henry never really were all that close to me and and besides, I'm switching EVERYTHING up.

The junk arrived at our house via a Fed Ex man with nice legs (don't all Fed Ex'ers and UPS folks have nice legs? is that one of the official job requirements?) early Sat. morning in a giant box. It was like X-Mas morning in some sick, David Lynch kind of way where I got to open up my big giant box of bodily fluid. From a stranger, no less. :)

The "procedure" as my mom still prefers to call it took place both Wednesday evening and again Thursday EARLY morning. It was like conducting a science experiment only there were no animals injured or killed as a result of this project. For a portion of the time, YES folks, I was actually physically upside-down. I'm not sure if this is entirely necessary but you know... I like to do things as right as seems logically and appropriate in the moment. Drake had to put on gardening gloves when opening the tank because MAN THAT SHIT IS COLD in there! The half-page instruction manual says that you're not supposed to have any of the vials (except for the one you are immediately using) exposed to room temperature for more than 30 seconds so we were acting in haste and rather blindly I might add trying to get that crap out. It took a few tries. We selectively chose our "aspirator" thingie. The one we chose really wasn't probably as long as it needed to be but it was the smallest in circumference and that offered me some comfort, both physically and mentally. I read in a book that many women inject an egg white into there... well, you know... right before hand because it mimics the CM and helps move the sperm along and such. My reaction, once I was done laughing hysterically and making wild hand gestures was... "FOR GOD SAKE, I EAT EGGS!!!" and I wish to CONTINUE to eat eggs. So as much as women have supposedly sworn by this little trick of the trade, I chose to spare myself the embarrassing moment some days down the road when we go out for our usual weekend breakfast and I start gagging or hyperventilating as my plate of scrambled eggs arrive.

Overall, it was interesting. Now we shall just wait and see.