pissy

It’s been quite a day already and it’s just getting started. I went into the Hades Clinic for an O’Dark-Thirty ultrasound appointment and spent 30 minutes gritting my teeth and trying to be polite while the Ultrasound Tech talked my bloody ear off as if we were long lost friends. She’s from the East Coast. New Jersey to be exact. She comes from a large family. They shout a lot at the dinner table. Thanks Giving is her favorite holiday. Does anybody give a flying shit about this? Good... beacuse I didn't either! She also believes that relaying her entire life story while yielding a wand up my twat is an appropriate thing to do at 7’oclock in the morning. And it's relevant to note that in an effort to make my womb more fertile and pleasant, I gave up coffee long ago at the request of my acupuncturist and I’m still very bitter about this. Especially with glaring reminders such as these. Anyway… I’ve got a mature follicle. And guess what? I forgot my damn shot at home. Grrr... I told her that if I could get out of there soon enough, I could race home and get the shot and be back there with a minute or two to spare to make it to work at a reasonable hour without arising suspicion. I then waited an additional 30 minutes for “Dr. Crothety Old Ass Face” (she’s not new but I rarely have to see her, THANK GOD) to come in and tell me what I already knew. “Hi. Your follicle is mature. You forgot your shot. What are you going to do about it?” I was asking her for advice on the timing of things. Does it usually take 24 hours? 36 hours? What's my window here? She offered me nothing other than she was going to consult Dr. Evil and call me back later. I informed her that Dr. Evil was no longer my person; that I had switched to Dr. Wild Bill (because just the mere thought of Dr. Evil made me break out in a rash, but I didn’t share this because I had already spent an hour trying to be sweet and polite so why stop now?) and maybe she should consult him. “Okay – so as soon as I can reach Dr. Evil, I’ll give you a call” was her response. Whatever. I wanted to bite her ass-face right off. Idiot. So in between the many hours waiting for her to call me back, I am trying to come up with a number of alternatives. I have a good friend who happens to be a nurse who I happen to be seeing tonight at my Sizzlin' Chicken's Book Club meeting. Her name is "She Who Walks on Freakishly Small Feet - R.N.". I talked to her this morning and she was willing to do it but didn't neccessarily have all the tools needed and I still needed to get information like how much of the shot to stab into my butt, etc. Then there was a still a timing issue so I ultimately decided not to go that route even though I know how disappointed "She Who Walks on Freakishly Small Feet - R.N." must be to miss out on an opportunity to get a viewing of my butt.
So I ended up racing back to downtown Seattle this morning to get the shot. I will inseminate at 3pm tomorrow assuming that the Hades Clinic does not spontaenously catch fire and burn to the ground between now and then in a freak accident that can't be explained by even the keenest of investigators. and so it goes. I remain in a very rotten mood. If I don't get knocked up this time, heads are gonna roll!