a little bit about nothing

I went in for a Day 12 ultrasound yesterday (on day 13 because I'm just
a little rebellious like that) and though what we found was generally
positive, it still didn't cut the mustard to achieve my goals this month. It
comes down to a case of bad timing. It seems that the Femura cancer
drugs are working at blowing my eggs up big, but not quite in time. Instead of having a bunch of small eggs and maybe one that looks like it could go eventually, I have a WHOLE uteran-load of big eggs that just aren't quite ready to go. There must be about 7 that are sized between 8.5-11 nanobuckets and unfortunately they need to 18 nanobuckets but hey... at least they are all growing. Sounds like more than one will mature this time which means that if I were to inseminate, I could end up with sextuplets. No good. No good at all. But my fear of birthing and raising a villiage of babies is not the reason why I'm skipping this cycle. I'm skipping this cycle because I'm leaving town. Today; on CD 14. I'll be out of town from CD 14 to CD 20. Dr. Wild Bill is apparently not a travelling Endocrinologist like they had back in the good old days when docs would actually make house-calls to those in need. Because I think I'd qualify for somebody in need. I'm in desperate need of a sperm injection sometime between day CD 14 and CD 20 and now I can't get one. We're going to CA. for the "Geowoodstock" (but more on that later)and to visit drake's and my families. I've already proposed to drake the idea of humping one of her cousins or at least hitting him up for a bathroom break and a cuppa, but she frowned on that idea. Well... if frowns included curse words and mumblings of "sick crazy whore" then that's what she did. She "frowned" upon the idea of my humping her cousin in an effort to steal his sperm. I personally don't see what the problem is, but I've always deferred to her wisdom over my own. Something about Mensa and Doctorate degrees and shit. Whatever. It's the life I chose.

So once again, for an ENTIRE month, I will not have the luxury of speaking about or writing about babies or bodily fluids or conception or speculums or catheters. It breaks my heart - really it does. and what's even more devastating is that you, kind readers, will be forced into a position of reading about my strange day to day occurrences. Like... for instance, this morning in the bathroom. We have a plumbing issue in my office restrooms. I'm not sure how to describe it other than sometimes when somebody runs the water, some gurgling and weird noises occur in the pipes in the toilets which are a good 50 feet away from the sink. Usually it's a mild and unalarming sound; just kinda like a lulla-bye-ish humm whilst you do your business. Today, however, was a totally different story. I was quite literally startled out of my seat. And that seat was a toilet. I sat down to relieve myself and the minute ass-skin made contact with porcelain, there was a LOUD crazy GROWLING sound that was coming out from under the toilet seat. It was like a monster on a murderous blaze of fury. It scared the shit right back into me. I leaped off the toilet and let out an incredibly girlly like scream that I'm sure could be heard from down the hall and especially from the "humming girl" (more on that later too) who was out in the next area washing her hands. If she wasn't so absolutely nutty coo coo already, I'd be a little bit concerned and embarassed about what she thought about all that, but the girl is certifiable so I'm actually okay with it. So this humming girl is this little 90 pound east indian woman who works in the offices next to ours but we share a communal bathroom. She's in the bathroom A LOT and she's ALWAYS ALWAYS humming. It's just barely audible, but it's there. And I honestly have never had an encounter with her when she wasn't humming. She won't look at you... it's not like she's just a really happy melodic person, it's one of those things I think where it's like a nervous hum. or something. the minute she sees you she starts to hum. I don't get it but I do find it quite fascinating. So the humming girl heard my scream and I don't care because she's crazy. and apparently so am I a little bit to be so startled by a toilet monster. anyway... see. See how awful it is that I'm not inseminating this month and can't write about LOGICAL THINGS!